We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
