I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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