we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
