"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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