Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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