omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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