Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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