the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
