We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
