Where did you get a picture of my penis
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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