Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
