so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
