the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
