but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm too high and old for this...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
