do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
