the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize