it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So squirting runs in the family.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
