the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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