We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
