im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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