Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it was like eating out sand paper
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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