you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
