I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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