and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
