yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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