Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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