woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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