I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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