He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
