I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
