On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
