3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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