If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
