We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
