so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
