Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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