whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There r osticjed everywhere
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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