By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
