I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
