Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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