she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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