I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
