she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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