Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
