Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We got so high we made milksteak
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
