There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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