just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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