What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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