weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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