just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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