He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
