I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
