is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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