She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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