I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
