All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
