Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Terrible idea I love it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
