at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
