I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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