I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The adults are the big ones right?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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