It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
